That’s what you tell yourself pretty often, don’t you?
I may not personally know YOU, but I already know that statement is bullshit. It’s untrue and unwelcome around here. You know you’re a decent human being. You’re nice to others and you work hard. So, why exactly do you say these things to yourself?
It’s called imposter syndrome, my friend and it’s the devil in disguise.
Everyone on this planet has been through the wringer and has experienced imposter syndrome. Many of us are able to snap out of it pretty quickly and chalk it up to having a bad day. But for many others, the voices of self-doubt linger day after day, constantly reminding us that no matter what we do, it’s never good enough.
Imposter syndrome is defined as fearing that others may think you’re a fraud. It stems from having anxiety and your past experiences during childhood may have triggered your inability to embrace your successes.
Now, let’s see how many of these thoughts or feelings you’ve felt before:
- When you achieve success at work, you chalk it up to being lucky and that your efforts didn’t contribute to success.
- You seek validation from others, whether it’s from your boss, spouse or family members.
- Lack of self-confidence when someone compliments you. You instantly feel like you didn’t deserve the compliment and deflect from it.
- Taking on crazy workloads or working more than you should because you equate your success and worth with how much you can take on.
- When someone gives you constructive criticism, you instantly blame yourself for not being good enough.
As I typed those points out, I caught myself nodding because I’d been through them all. And it absolutely sucks. This creates an opportunity to be taken advantage of.
I have taken every imposter symptom I had and turned those into positive affirmations.
I am capable. I am smart. I am an extremely hard worker. I am a giver. I am a self-starter. I strive to empower others. I know my self-worth. I love myself inside and outside. I have integrity. I am funny. And I am succeeding.
If you cultivate a positive mindset, you will set the tone for your day. Everyone’s going to have bad days. I had a bad day yesterday, but I didn’t wrap myself in a blanket of self-pity. It takes some internal persuasion to get out of that mindset, but it’s totally possible.
What’s sad is that I still know people who are currently working their 8–4 jobs and it’s slowly killing them. For what? The fear of not being able to pay your bills? Having all of your eggs in one basket and feeling like you’re stuck? Lacking self-confidence that you could go back out into the world and apply yourself to other jobs? The list goes on and on.
I can’t force you to do anything. I get it. Bills don’t pay themselves which is why we need to learn proper money management. Here are some encouraging steps to get yourself prepared to make a change without feeling overwhelmed if you decide to.
- Reframe your thinking. Cut the crap out with self-doubt — Have compassion for yourself and tell yourself 100 times a day that you are awesome if you need to.
- Embrace ALL of your victories. No matter how small.
- Start looking at job opportunities regularly. Brush up your resume and cover letter and have them readily available if you see a job you’re interested in.
- Put away $10, $50, or $100 dollars per paycheck (or however much you’re able to) in a savings account that you don’t have a card to access.
- Stand up for yourself if coworkers, friends, or bosses belittle you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with setting boundaries and making it CLEAR that you won’t put up with it. Nowadays, people associate assertiveness with rudeness and I’m here to tell you that they don’t like transparency well.
Until next time, my friends. Stay positive, and manifest love. Fight for what’s right. Fight for yourself.
