It’s 9 PM, the kitchen’s clean, the kids are in their rooms, and you’re in bed scrolling through Facebook, catching up on the daily’s latest. Oh, look, Stephanie just gave birth to her third…wait, or is it her fourth kid?
And it looks like your distant cousin RiRi just bought her first dream house. Aw, look how happy she looks in her photos. When was the last time you two connected? Has it really been a decade? Jeez…you’re gettin’ old.
And how many rescheduled brunch dates have you pinned on your calendar this past year with your best friend? Far too many, and she lives ten freaking miles away.
Why is it so hard to keep up with friends and attend gatherings these days? Aside from your partner and children within your immediate circle, do you struggle to keep in touch with friends and family? Well, you are certainly not alone.
You may have thought to yourself, “Gosh, I’m just one person, yet I’m being torn in so many directions, all the time. I want to make everyone happy, but at the cost of my own happiness? I…don’t know about that. How do I find balance?”
The first step is to realize what your priorities are. Most people will say their spouse and kids are their first and foremost, but you’re forgetting the most important person in your life. YOU.
Who takes care of you when you need a mental break? A physical break? If you’re not taken care of, you’re not properly equipped to take care of other people and their needs.
We all have responsibilities and for most of us, it would revolve around a job, shuffling kids to and from school, making sure the fridge is stocked with food, dinner on the table, and a safe environment for ourselves and our family. By the end of the day, let’s face it, you’re tired.
This will eventually cause a ripple effect on your friendships, relationships with your relatives, and even your spouse.
It takes 30 seconds to pick up your phone and text a friend “good morning” or call your parents and ask how their day is going. Little efforts will flourish as long as we nurture the relationships we have.
If you’re anything like me, having fun feels guilty.
But why?
Well, because we’ve got kids that we need to take care of, so, therefore,date nights are out of the question.
But why?
My husband and I went through a dry spell of never going out without the kids for years. It was our own guilt. If we wanted to go eat at a restaurant of our choice, we would get excited, then the immediate pang of guilt would set in, and we’d end up taking the whole family.
No real couple time. No quiet conversations to ask each other how we’re doing aside from raising our wonderfully chaotic family. And it hurt our relationship.
Fast forward to the present and we love our date nights! We love staycations or a quick trip out to the store with each other. Our friendship has grown and our love flame has ignited even more. All because we dedicated some time to ourselves, for each other.
And when we need some alone time, it’s a simple and guilt-less request and we would take turns watching the kids to get a breath of fresh air as needed.
The important thing to consider when juggling different relationships with so many people is to realize that the “life’s been so busy, sorry; haven’t had the time” excuse is not healthy. Make the time. If these people are important to you, you’ll make the time. No doubt about it.
You owe it your own mental happiness to carve out a lunch date with your bestie or a phone call with your cousin from across the world.
