Let’s face it…we’ve all made poor life decisions that we have whole-heartedly regretted. The “what should’ve happened,” “could’ve happened,” and “what I’d do differently” are now water under the bridge.
At that moment in time when you’re facing a fork in your life’s road, you had to decide.
As you sit back and think about the mistakes you’ve made in your life, think about the person you are today. Those choices weaved your paths in life.
Trust me, I’ve done things and have said things I am not proud of, but I know deep down, I am not a bad person. And neither are you.
Circumstances in our lives, stressors, toxic environments, abusive relationships, anxiety, and depression are all contributors to how we react to certain situations.
But let’s talk about how we can move forward and try to make better decisions for a possibility of better outcomes. This will not only keep us out of trouble, but it will mature how we handle things.
- Do not react. Repeat that with me. Do not ever react immediately. This will get you in trouble. Our first reaction will be aggressive, irrational, and defensive. Take a deep breath, walk away, and cool down. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to throw punches or drop F bombs, but I knew I’d only get my ass in trouble. Heed my advice and allow yourself adequate time to calm down. You’ll be more likely to calibrate / ground yourself enough for a better response.
- Understand the other person’s perspective whether you think they’re right or not. By attempting to step into someone else’s shoes and understand their point of view, it makes it a little easier to not take offense, unless the comment is blatantly offensive.
- Look at the big picture. It’s so tempting to get instant gratification when we make hasty decisions to satiate our appetites for our immediate wants, but it’s not always going to work in our favor. Look at how one decision could lead to certain possible outcomes and weigh your pros and cons. There’s nothing wrong with the old “pros and cons” columns on a piece of notebook paper.
- Listen. You’ll often have people tell you what to do, how to live your life, or make decisions for you because they think they know you. And oftentimes, these are done out of love and concern. But, find a support system that knows the real you. Bounce ideas off of them before you decide on something. Let your support community help you during times of uncertainty.
- Forgive yourself. This is hard to do when things don’t go the way you had originally thought. But it’s important to be kind to yourself. Learn from your mistakes.
You’re not a bad person. You do not have bad intentions to do harm to others. But sometimes the choices you’ve made in your life make it seem like you are reckless. But I see you. You’ve been hurt, have felt alone and unheard, and you’ve felt angry.
I encourage you to see the good in you and feed that goodness with mindfulness, self-care, and love, and allow that internal GOOD to radiate externally. Show the world how capable you are, and what you can achieve because your mistakes do not define you.
